My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize