Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she told me i tasted like america
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
