U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
