Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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