I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
