I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
