I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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