You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
