I'm so fucking centered right now
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize