I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
