It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
