they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize