IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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