I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
