"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
