I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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