Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
