remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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