It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
