If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
