the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
