Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
