Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
