I've blown a few things in my day
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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