Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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