There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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