barbara walters just said penis...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
