Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
