Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
