Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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