I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
