He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
