Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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