You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
