I bet he comes in French.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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