is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
