D3 body, D1 cock
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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