Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
