she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
