Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
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drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
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MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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