I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize