I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
