listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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