bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
