Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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