Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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