I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
