you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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