That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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