Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
