Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
