Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
