maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
