I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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