My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
