I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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