This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
