he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
