and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
