69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
