thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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